Capsules, cabo & boys…oh my!

I was able to get rid of 1/3 of the clothes in my closet. I can’t say I’m 100% doing a capsule this season. But the lack of choices have definitely helped save me some time. I highly recommend trying it…or at least purging your closet.

Now, on to Cabo. I gotta show you a picture my friend took:

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How gorgeous is that?! That’s a picture on our resort, Riu Palace, in Cabo. It was  a gorgeous beach front resort with super yummy food.

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I like to pick a little at a time because I don’t like when my food mixes together…I know, I’m weird.

Anyway, Cabo was great since I was there for a friend’s wedding. I feel like I made a fool of myself at times in front of my friend’s new in-laws/extended family. Hopefully I never see them again lol.

Anyway, I spent a lot of time with my other good friends, and they got me thinking about life. I kind of got jealous hearing my friend so sure that his girlfriend of 3 years is the one. Meanwhile, my boyfriend of almost 5 years couldn’t say the same thing. There are days I wonder why I stick around and other days I see us in a house together. At times I feel myself checking out of the relationship. But then I have to remind myself we’re about to go backpacking in a few months. I’m a horrible person, I know.

Has anyone ever felt this way? Has anyone been “stuck” in a relationship because of a trip or some other long obligation?

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Capsules, cabo & boys…oh my!

I was able to get rid of 1/3 of the clothes in my closet. I can’t say I’m 100% doing a capsule this season. But the lack of choices have definitely helped save me some time. I highly recommend trying it…or at least purging your closet.

Now, on to Cabo. I gotta show you a picture my friend took:

image

How gorgeous is that?! That’s a picture on our resort, Riu Palace, in Cabo. It was  a gorgeous beach front resort with super yummy food.

image

image

I like to pick a little at a time because I don’t like when my food mixes together…I know, I’m weird.

Anyway, Cabo was great since I was there for a friend’s wedding. I feel like I made a fool of myself at times in front of my friend’s new in-laws/extended family. Hopefully I never see them again lol.

Anyway, I spent a lot of time with my other good friends, and they got me thinking about life. I kind of got jealous hearing my friend so sure that his girlfriend of 3 years is the one. Meanwhile, my boyfriend of almost 5 years couldn’t say the same thing. There are days I wonder why I stick around and other days I see us in a house together. At times I feel myself checking out of the relationship. But then I have to remind myself we’re about to go backpacking in a few months. I’m a horrible person, I know.

Has anyone ever felt this way? Has anyone been “stuck” in a relationship because of a trip or some other long obligation?

Capsules, cabo & boys…oh my!

I was able to get rid of 1/3 of the clothes in my closet. I can’t say I’m 100% doing a capsule this season. But the lack of choices have definitely helped save me some time. I highly recommend trying it…or at least purging your closet.

Now, on to Cabo. I gotta show you a picture my friend took:

image

How gorgeous is that?! That’s a picture on our resort, Riu Palace, in Cabo. It was  a gorgeous beach front resort with super yummy food.

image

image

I like to pick a little at a time because I don’t like when my food mixes together…I know, I’m weird.

Anyway, Cabo was great since I was there for a friend’s wedding. I feel like I made a fool of myself at times in front of my friend’s new in-laws/extended family. Hopefully I never see them again lol.

Anyway, I spent a lot of time with my other good friends, and they got me thinking about life. I kind of got jealous hearing my friend so sure that his girlfriend of 3 years is the one. Meanwhile, my boyfriend of almost 5 years couldn’t say the same thing. There are days I wonder why I stick around and other days I see us in a house together. At times I feel myself checking out of the relationship. But then I have to remind myself we’re about to go backpacking in a few months. I’m a horrible person, I know.

Has anyone ever felt this way? Has anyone been “stuck” in a relationship because of a trip or some other long obligation?

Capsule

UGH. I keep losing posts! I suppose it’s the universe telling me to not post on that subject. I recently went on a girls trip to Vegas. I suppose I won’t bother posting much on it since it’s barely changed. It’s still all about pool parties, booze, clubs, and buffets excess. Though Vegas is not the place you would expect to have an “ah-ha” moment, I totally did.

1) I had a really good life talk with my friend. She has a new take on life. It’s all about “you do you” and cut out people/things that waste your time. It was quite insightful…especially since I was delirious from being tired.

2) Capsule Wardrobes. My other friend introduced me to this new take on your closet. I’m very blessed to have California Closets. Though I don’t have a huge closet, it should be big enough and organized well to fit everything. However, I still find my clothes overflowing onto my chair, bookcase, etc. I’m going to try and reorganize my closet during my next few days off. I’ll keep you updated with my progress.

Worn Out

I promised myself that 2015 would be the year I blogged more. Whoops!  Anyway, I found this draft from about 3-4 months ago.  I still think it’s something important to get out there.  It’s only part of the story and part of the struggle of staying sane on such a heavy ward.  Anyways, here were my thoughts a few months ago:

Let me first say thank you to all that have read and commented on my last post.  I really appreciate it.  Your supportive words have gotten me through a tough time. Though I think I am more able to mentally cope with my personal issues of being a new grad nurse, I am still getting worn out.  Physically this time.  Some of you may be thinking, “How is that even possible?? Must be bad body mechanics”.  I am on a very physically heavy ward and it is getting the best of me.

Despite using proper body mechanics, using ceiling lifts, and tilting the bed, I just can’t compete with a combative patient. Now, you’re probably thinking “Combative? Just walk away!” That would be the textbook answer. But what are you supposed to do when that patient:
– has dementia
– is delirious
– has probably been sitting in a dirty diaper for a few hours because everytime you’ve tried to change them before they have been combative

On top of that:
– you don’t have a code white team available to come for every diaper change
– all the staff are busy and you probably need at least 3-4 people to change this patient

Unfortunately, you just have to deal with it, as well as the punching and slapping
that comes with it. I’ve begun looking at other wards and specialties. I’ll keep you updated if I find the “dream ward” haha.

I have since changed wards.  It’s a long story but let’s just say, it finally paid off to apply to 50394238294 postings.  I am now able to find a better work-life balance.  I barely have physical reminders of how hard work was (but let’s be honest, nursing is just so physically hard sometimes).  Most importantly, I’m happier

Did I make the right choice?

I’ve been struggling lately with nursing.  When I don’t know something or make a mistake (don’t worry, never a life or death thing, it’s usually paper work stuff), I always question if I should have known that or if I’m just dumb. The worst part is that it always feels like I’m making mistakes in front of the people that gossip!  Ugh.   It’s such a frustrating feeling. Does anyone else feel like this? Or has anyone gone through this?

Staff Room War: Karma

So, I have figured out who threw out my lunch.  It was luckily not a case of bullying (what a way to start off my career -_-) but rather a misunderstanding.  I’m still sad about losing my most favourite tupperware. However, I’ve had some good karma recently.

For my work Christmas party, we were asked to bring gifts for white elephant.  Guess what I got…..TUPPERWARE! My friend laughed when she saw it and took a picture because she said “words can’t describe how happy you look right now”. It was a good way to start off a week long vacation from work.

Sorry it’s a short post for now.  I’ve had quite an eventful weekend.  That being said, I have a sore throat so I’m trying to get better before I start work in a few days.  I can’t afford to call in sick again! =(

Staff Room War – Nursing Edition

One of the things I hate most is bullying.  I feel like girl bullying is the worst because half the time you don’t even know it’s being done to you or why you are the victim.  Horizontal bullying (acting hostile or aggressive to another person), in my opinion, is typically what girls do.

Due to the sometimes subtle nature of horizontal bullying, I didn’t realize how bad it was on my ward until now.  For example, one young nurse is so cold to others because she has been given the cold shoulder by all the older nurses.  She is so kind, and will help a young nurse in a heartbeat.  But if you’re an older nurse who has given her the cold shoulder, she has lost all respect for them.  Another example I’ve heard of is about another young nurse who put her dirty work shoes in the wrong place.  Unfortunately, for whatever reason, she kept forgetting to not put it that location.  Apparently one day, an older nurse got fed up with her and threw her shoes out.  Finally, we come to my example.  I accidentally left my lunch at work.  Today was day two so I asked if my co-worker could grab it and I would pick it up from her place.  Turns out my lunch is not there, but a more senior nurse’s aide’s lunch is…that’s been there for a week (don’t ask how I know, I just do).

I can’t tell you what I’ve done to piss anyone off.  I sincerely try to help as much as I can, be as nice to everyone, and just try to be the best nurse I can be.  Yes, food gets mouldy.  But none of my food has gone mouldy after only two days in the fridge.

Maybe I’m being too sensitive, but I seriously think this is so mean.  Who the hell throws out someone’s lunch?

I’ve been caught

Remember how I was saying I felt like a fraud? Well, they’ve found out.

I had to work with a tubing I was not familiar with. I asked a staff member, who provides education to the ward, to help me. No problem. She asked if I wanted to do it, I said no, I would prefer to watch first. I didn’t tell her this, but I get super flustered when I’m put on the spot to do something. I had the policy printed out, giving the step-by-step details. I had briefly read it the night before. I had an idea of what it was for, and what it did, but I couldn’t tell you every little detail of how and why this type of drainage needed to be done.

Sure enough, I got asked questions and FAILED miserably. On top of that, my day began to get more stressful. I got more flustered. The only thing getting me through the day, and not dwelling on it, was that I was going out to dinner that night.

So I went on with my night after work. Had some food and drinks with good company. Came home, chatted with my mom, and then the waterworks came. I felt miserable, terrible, embarrassed, angry, mad, and most of all..a real fraud.

I know it was one mistake and it happens. I know that my patient was safe, and will continue to be safe, under my care. But I feel like I’m being watched now.

Has this happened to anyone?

I’m a fraud

Ok. I’m not a real fraud. But I feel like one sometimes.

I recently graduated from college and passed my licensing exam to be a nurse (in case that wasn’t evident in my username). I was so excited when I finally got a job and started practicing this summer. I was getting a great amount of hours. I had flexibility with my hours too. I was able to pick up as many (or as little) amount of hours. On top of all of this, I was about to go to Europe. Guess that gave me a goal to work as hard as I did.

Now, I’m not sure what to do. Ever since I came home from Europe, I get anxiety before work. I nearly cry before I go to work everyday. I feel like that kid that wants to play hooky, but I want to play hooky for life.

It’s a frustrating thing. I really enjoy the people I work with. Would I be best friends outside of work with all of them? Probably not. But I also know it’s pretty rare to actually enjoy most of the people you work with.

Are there any other nurses that feel or have felt this way?

I’m not sure where I stand with this whole situation. I’m “too young”/too early in the nursing game to qualify for anything. I need to stay at least a year or maybe two in the ward I’m in right now to “gain experience”. We’ll see what happens.